Happy New Year!

Hello 2014.

I'm glad to see you.

2013 was rough.

I'm ready to move forward.

In the past year, I've been tested, tried and, at times, taken almost to the limit of what I felt I could bear. I can't really go into details, but let's just say that I have shed more tears in the past several months than probably at any other time in my life.

I've felt lonely, sad, scared, sick, angry, inadequate, frustrated....just to name a few.

Despite all that -- through it all --  I've felt the loving arms of my Heavenly Father around me and the assurance of the Holy Ghost speaking peace to my mind that everything will be okay. That is what keeps me going each day. 

Sometimes it's hard to be still and know that God is in control. I want to be in control. I want to fix things that sometimes I can't fix. I want to make things go away that I don't want to deal with. I want people to change. I want circumstances to change. I want sickness and heartache and despair to depart from me and those I love.

And yet, I firmly believe that all these difficult things are part of this life. I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I know that He knows what will help me grow. I know that He knows that I am capable of more than I think I am. I know these things. I cling to these things and place my hope in these things. This knowledge is what gets me through.

One thing that I've really struggled with through all this is that I don't want to just endure it. I want to endure it WELL. I doubt my abilities. I get frustrated and lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel alone. I feel like no one else understands. My inadequacies and limitations loom over me, overshadowing my confidence, my faith, my testimony. I've tried to learn how to push those doubts and negative feelings aside. Some days, I do a better job of that than on other days.

So, as this new year begins, I'm looking forward with hope. I have so many blessings and so much to be grateful for. I have a wonderful family. I love them dearly. I have amazing friends who always stand by me. And most of all, I have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ who know me and love me and are always there for me.